I just read a little meme on my Facebook page, posted by a sweet friend of mine: “I’m afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating.”
I felt my ire rise as I read this because this presupposes that violence and bullying have somehow been key ingredients in improving our world. I think we have seen that violence and bullying do just the opposite, and that the world is clearly not improved by more violence and more bullying. Just this week, sadly, we have seen that people (or governments or organizations or some entity that has human thinking at its root) continue to believe that they need to hurt other people in order to move forward or achieve some goal.
What is spanking other than violence and bullying? How do people learn to bully and use violence as a tool, other than at the hands of their own parents? We are so quick to blame fantasy violence (i.e., that seen in movies and video games), and we ignore the actual, everyday violence we experience at the hands of the people who are supposed to love and protect us. And, we further buy into some lie that this violence against children is a demonstration of some kind of loving guidance and is somehow good for us.
And then, a couple of bombs go off at the finish line at the Boston Marathon, and a couple of days later, I read about some person who is “afraid” of a world in which kids are not spanked.
WHAT?! How about we try it for a change and see!
How’s this for a replacement meme: “We don’t yet know, above all, what the world might be like if children were to grow up without being subjected to humiliation, if parents would respect them and take them seriously as people.” (Alice Miller).
Peaceful parenting is not just the absence of violence! It is finding and adopting better tools in the parenting toolkit. It’s about realizing that attempts to control other people can lead to frustration and violence. It’s about understanding that when we try to blindly control another, we may cause unanticipated, unfortunate consequences (resulting in something like “jelly sandwich syndrome”).
I say, let’s please remember what John Lennon suggested, who, by the way, was gunned down in cold blood long before there were ever violent video games: All he was asking was, “Give peace a chance.”
There is, obviously, much more to say on this subject, but this will have to do for now. I’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject, and if you are looking for ways to incorporate more peaceful parenting principles and strategies into your parenting toolkit, please contact me for a sample session. Click here for more info: Peaceful Parenting Whisperer.
Be well and be kind,
Office: 845 – 657 – 3111